Kitteh Can Haz Donationz?

sad-kitten

First, a big thanks to all that have already given their very generous financial support for my marathon fundraiser to fight blood cancers (leukemia, Hodgkin lymphoma, non-Hodgkin lymphoma or myeloma). Thank you.

But to those of you who have not, you’re about to make a kitten cry (see photo above as proof).

Now, I’ve lied to the kitty and told it that there must have been a miscommunication. I even took the blame; that’s just the kinda guy I am.

But you and I must join forces to save this poor kitty from unnecessary kitten tears. Man, those are the worst. Here’s how you can help.

  • I’m running a marathon, which is 26.2 miles. At my slow pace, that may end up taking me over 5 and half hours to finish. Imagine finishing the first Lord of the Rings movie and already halfway into the second….without ever taking a potty break. Now add running the entire time. Wouldn’t that torture be … interesting … to inflict upon me? Well, that’s only going to happen if you donate any amount.
  • I’m fundraising to fight blood cancers. Fun fact: Leukemia causes more deaths than any other cancer among kids under the age of 20. So yeah, that’s actually not really such a fun fact after all, but here’s one that is — your donation of any amount would help greatly to fight blood cancers.
  • I’m offering raffle prizes with insanely awesome odds for winning. How insane? Well, you should have already given a donation of any amount already, but let me break down the raffles with more bullet points. Next slide.
  •  

    Raffle Prizes with Insanely High Odds for Winning

    • Would you like a $100 Amazon giftcard? Why just one — I’m raffling off 4 individual $100 Amazon giftcards to the first 60 adored friends that donate $30.
    • Would you like a iPad 3? It’s even one of those fancy white ones, so you know it’s high quality. I’m raffling off one to the first 50 esteemed friends that donate $60.
    • Would you like a Lexus-certified Pre-owned MacAir? The first 30 much-venerated friends to donate $120 will get a shot.

     

    But wait, there’s more!

    If you donate $120 but don’t win the MacAir — even at those insanely awesome odds — I’ll automatically enter you into the iPad 3 raffle, too.

    And those that don’t win the iPad 3 raffle — I still have mad love for you. I’ll automatically enter you into each of the four $100 Amazon giftcard raffles.

    Am I serious? Did I just say that those that donate $120 have a chance of winning one of the 6 raffles?

    And you will be supporting research for blood cancer?

    And you will be inflicting the misery of a marathon upon me?

    I think it’s pretty clear what is expected of you next, dearest, beloved friend — please donate.

    Kitteh thanks you.

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