Day 12: COVID-19 in 15 Days

I want America to understand — this week, it’s going to get bad.

US Surgeon General Dr. Jerome Adams

The America Virus (aka the 1918 influenza pandemic) that killed 20 to 50 million humans was also called the Three Day Fever because incubation was fast and furious. The mean incubation period for COVID-19, however, is a full 5 days, and 98% within 12 days. This means that whatever action we take today, we are at least 5-12 days away from understanding the causal effect from it.

So what will things look like in the next 15 days for America?

By the end of this week, the US will have more COVID-19 cases than Italy. In 10 days, we will have more cases than China. The ignorant among us will argue about “confirmed case counts per capita”, stating that it ain’t no big deal — of course the US would have more cases as it has more people. The informed will remind them that the virus doesn’t care about nationality nor borders, and thus per capita. Rather, it only cares about using human hosts to spread. And that virus has found a most exceptional host in American Individualism; the case growth rate is already accelerating faster than that of Italy.

Chart is in log scale to mimic the exponential rate at which the virus spreads
Source: Vox analysis of Center for Systems Science and Engineering at Johns Hopkins University data, through March 22; Financial Times

The ignorant will state that a full 80% of the infected will experience mild symptoms. The informed will remind them that 20% of these cases will need hospitalization, which will overrun our hospital resources – staff, beds, and equipment. Already, America is sending their medical staff to battle with personal protection equipment gifted from others despite the President having the approved power to enact the Defense Production Act since March 18th.

And then, slowly, 1% of the cases will die. Today it is 500 dead, in a few days it will be 1,000 deaths, and next week it will be 2,000+. After 15 days, we will look back as thousands of Americans drown in fluid-filled lungs pleading for ventilators, medical staff bringing stitched together personal protection equipment from home, and thousands of families unable to the funerals for their dead loved ones.

In 15 days, 10% of American workers will be unemployed or furloughed. They may get a check for $1,000, and told that will need to be enough to tide them over for 4 more weeks. And during those 4 weeks, the US will continue the path of exponentially growing cases, and deaths.

At the end, if we are lucky, we will receive respite in July, as temperatures remain well above 70 degrees and 60% humidity in the northern hemisphere to slow the spread. Our salvation will more likely be an early, humid heatwave than a vaccine 12-18 months away. The good news — January 2020 was the hottest January going back 141 years.

And then COVID-19 will fly south for the winter to hunt for new hosts, infecting the southern hemisphere during their slight 23.5 degree tilt away from the sun.

God Save America Humanity.

Day 6: Long Range View on COVID-19

I’m a long-range strategist. Over the years I’ve learned that is one of my talents and skills. I’ve trained to survey the landscape, think in goals and objectives, and assemble tactics to ensure successful execution. Part of that is reviewing the data, and adapting the tactics as events unfold. I’ve been doing this for 20+ years, and my work has affected millions online and generated millions in new business revenue. Simply put – I enjoy what I do, and I’m lucky to be good at it.

When I apply that very mindset to this pandemic, I’m overwhelmed with concern. I’m worried because the logarithmic scale – the scale we need to be looking at when discussing exponential growth – for China clearly indicates it takes at least 4 weeks of complete containment to stymie the spread, and 8 weeks to feel comfortable that the first wave of the pandemic has been contained. 

The US isn’t remotely doing any of that, and many argue it’s against our cultural DNA to even start doing so. As a result, this won’t be over in 2 weeks for the US; this won’t miraculously disappear in April as the weather warms, no matter what ridiculous things a politician may say. This won’t even be over in 4 weeks, either. As the CDC states, we will need at least 8 weeks of kids out of school, gathering spaces canceled. As a result, the economic impact of this closing of mass consumerism is simply unimaginable.  We can expect an economic recession, but we worry about an economic depression.

I’m worried that most Americans barely have enough savings to last a few weeks without income. Jobless claims will mount, rents/mortgages will be missed, food will become inaccessible, and people will get desperate. We will not dry up like a raisin in the sun; we will explode with crimes that turn violent.

I’m worried that health care providers will continue to get infected, further reducing the space, equipment, and staff to care for the 20% of COVID-19 cases that will need hospitalization. Yes, 80% can self-contain at home, and thousands are already hospitalized, but we aren’t prepared for the wave of cases that are just now starting to inundate our hospitals.

I’m worried that my kids, one of which is immunocompromised, won’t be able to see their grandparents and friends for months. I’m worried about my friends and family that now live in isolation and the psychological toll of it. I’m worried about my friends and family that work as nurses and caretakers. I think about them every day.

I’m worried that we are day 5 into a 120-day marathon, where the only salvation to our cultural anti-authoritarianism is a vaccine. And that when we get to the vaccine goal line 12-18 months out, we will need years of recovery. And what haunts me is that many of us will never be given the opportunity to experience that recovery either by death, or the utter desolation of their retirement savings.

What am I most worried about? That my worries are all too reasonable; that they are not pessimistic enough.

Tomorrow…how I’m dealing with that worry.

The Holy Quest for Bike-Friendly Routes Within Atlanta

I am determined to attempt and complete my first bicycling century this year. That’s 100 long miles of nothing but my fat frame atop my bike wheel’s inflated to 120 pounds per square inch … and many, many hours of asphalt.

I’ve made an attempt before, but was only able to finish 86 miles from Atlanta to Athens before sorely admitting defeat.  I literally hobbled home. Mathematically, the difference between 86 and 100 is a mere 14 miles, or a tortuously slow hour of pain. The prior 5-6 hours, however, can not — nay — will not be forgotten.

And if cycling 100 miles wasn’t enough of a challenge, my wife and I recently welcomed a 10 month old daughter to the family. My training time is limited, so I don’t have the leisure of packing my bike and driving out to my favorite long distance bike-friendly routes around the outskirts of Atlanta:

• the 40 miles out-and-back / 2,500 feet ascent Arabia Mountain: paved trail route in Lithonia, GA starting near Stonecrest Mall, traveling as far South as Panola Mountain and extending eastward to the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Conyers, GA (35 minute drive from Brookhaven, GA)
• the 50 mile loop / 1,000 feet ascent Silk Sheets: bike-friendly road route around Chattahoochee Hills, GA near Serenbe, starting in Campbellton, GA, heading as far south as Arnco Mills and eastward to Palmetto, GA (45 minute drive from Brookhaven, GA)
• the 100 mile loop / 4,200 feet ascent Beautiful Backroads (a.k.a the Bud Plant): bike-friendly route starting just north of Cartersville, GA, heading north to Calhoun, GA and making a figure-eight towards Rome, GA and back to Cartersville, GA (70 minute drive from Brookhaven, GA)
• the 115 miles out-and-back / 1,200 feet ascent Silver Comet: paved trail route in Smyrna, GA, starting near Cumberland Mall, traversing the GA/AL border, and ending near Anniston, AL (30 mile drive from Brookhaven, GA)

As you can see, these routes all require at least an hour commute; some require more than two hours of drive-time. I’m a slow cyclist, so I don’t have the luxury of adding such long commutes to an already 3+ hour training ride. So here is my challenge — how can I get my miles in the saddle while keeping my daughter’s father intact?

I have to look elsewhere; I have to look within the mean streets of Atlanta.

Atlanta Bike-Friendly Roads: Green Means Go

A search for bike-friendly roads in Atlanta displays a beautiful green tapestry of squiggly-lined options. The dark green means “trail”, light green means “dedicated bike lane”, and green dashes mean “bike-friendly”.  My starting point is the blue dot, which is where I live in Brookhaven, GA.  My routes all need to start, and end here. In theory, this looks easy. But when was the last time you noticed miles of bike-friendly let alone dedicated bike lanes while driving around Atlanta? The answer is never.

As I finish my bike-friendly Atlanta routes I plan to capture them here in my blog to share with others. In the meantime, do you have a favorite bike-friendly route in Atlanta? Please share them in the comments.

Look Up, Look Down. Look All Around.

Enough with the technology hate already. Social media is a tool; it is the use of that tool that is the problem, not its entire existence. Need proof? Consider this: social media…

• rekindles and strengthens relationships with friends, family where proximity and physical boundaries limit you. This is probably reason enough to value social media, but not for the dreary author of this video.
• connects you to like-minded individuals. If you are not living in a tolerant, urban location, this is critical to happiness.
• helps you find a life companion. 20 % of current relationships are estimated to have started with online dating. These relationships are arguably healthier ones, too as they are based on shared interests, not just sexual attractiveness from across a room. For they shy or socially awkward, the value is immeasurable. For this author, apparently soul mates are all walking about in London.
• provides a venue for artistic expression. Consider what this isolated, lonely World’s Greatest Dad did for his son. What a sad life that kid has with such an inattentive father.

It is not lost on me that the video’s author, complaining about how terrible social media is, used social media to share his message. And people are sharing it on social media. Some, like me, are seeking to discuss it. Why did we do this, when we could have been, as the author puts it, productive reading a book (so social), painting a picture (again, is this normally a group activity?) and exercising? Don’t we realize that no one is listening? We are all too busy reading *other* social media posts, I guess.

The issue is when we, while in the moment with someone, engage with social media instead of that person. The desire to share that moment is understandable. It is, however, possibly poorly timed. This all comes to social media etiquette. Let’s teach and promote that; not the absence of social media, or how isolating it is. Because it is not.

Also, if you have 422 “friends”…maybe the issue is that you consider 422 people “friends” rather than the count you are making them. Maybe consider a “reset” of your Facebook account.

Coming this September 2014

I’m a digital marketer. And now I’m going to be a father!

That can only mean one thing….I only have 6 more months to raise awareness of the new Fall product line of Felfoldis with an ad campaign.

The “Felfoldi’s Little Apple” Campaign

Everyone loves Apple; they are revolutionary. And everyone should have an apple a day as they are tasty. And a baby is the size of an apple around week 15. Such was the inspiration of the the “Felfoldi’s Little Apple” social media campaign.

We took the simplicity of Apple ads, combined them with the tastiness of food, and sprinkled in a few zesty puns.

Now it is your turn to help; here’s how:

Vote up the most deliciously amusing announcements with “LIKES” on Facebook and you’ll inspire our next creative creation. Vote as often as you’d like!

What the SNAP?

The Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, or SNAP, provides food-purchasing assistance for low- and no-income people living in the U.S. It is formerly known as the Food Stamp program. It is the largest food safety net program in the US costing $76.4 billion in 2013 to provide 47.6 million Americans an average of $133/month of food assistance.

Take that monthly benefit, divide by 4, and you have about $33.98/week. That’s why I only get $33.98 this week to eat – I’m walking in the shoes of what 47,600,000 other fellow Americans face every day.

Who SNAPS?

“SNAP recipients are lazy, fraudulent welfare queens”

Living in the conservative South I have heard similar lines like that before. Whenever I hear the subject of food stamps come up it is usually to disparage the recipient’s work ethic, honesty, or character. Rarely, however, have they ever met an actual food stamp recipient. Or, if they have it is a story about fraud. When I press to ask if they approached and shamed the person for their fraudulent behavior, it has always been revealed that the story was through a friend of a friend (of a friend). What kind of friends are they keeping?!

What I rarely hear, unfortunately, are the far more likely successes of SNAP. Whether those shameful stories are fact or myth, what is reality is that there are millions of daily successes.

• The story of the single mother … who even though works 40 hours a week with no holiday or vacation for her minimum wage of $7.25/hr is still below the poverty line. Her child needs basic nutrition to ensure they have an opportunity to grow up healthy. 42% of SNAP recipients are single mothers.
• The story of the newly-minted parents … where the father lost his job and the mom is home raising the two newborn. The parents didn’t have but $2,000 in savings before they were surprised with the layoff. He hasn’t been able to find a full time job, despite doing odd jobs here and there. More than 80% of SNAP households with at least one working-age, non-disabled adult work in the year prior to or the year after receiving SNAP.
• The story of the household of four … that despite both parents working full-time, aren’t able to earn more than $30,000 income. To be eligble for SNAP a household must be within 130% or below of the poverty line.

The 47,600,000 characters of all these stories rely daily on the assistance offered by SNAP to help them meet basic nutritional needs.

Snapshot of a SNAP recipient

What does a SNAP recipient of $4.50/day, or $1.50/meal, really look like?

• 83% percent of SNAP households have incomes at or below 100 percent of the poverty guideline ($19,530 for a family of 3 in 2013). These households receive 91% of all SNAP benefits.
• 83% of SNAP benefits include a child, an elderly person, or a disabled person.
• The average SNAP household has about 2 people, with a gross monthly income of $744 and countable assets of just $331.
• Participants must also meet work and citizenship requirements.
• 90 percent of SNAP benefits are redeemed by day 21 of the benefit period – meaning most SNAP benefits are not enough to last recipients all month.

To bring it to a more local level, what does a SNAP recipient in Georgia look like??

• 87% of households receiving SNAP have income below the poverty line (about $22,000 for a family of four in 2012), and 46% of households are in deep poverty, with income below 50% of the poverty line.
• Nearly half of SNAP recipients are children, and nearly 1/4 are adults living with children.

The reality is that in a few days my grumbling stomach will be fed well. I won’t be hurt from years of malnutrition. I won’t have to feel shameful about needing some help. The reality is that in a country as wealthy as the U.S, no one should.

Eyes SNAP’ed Wide Open

The photo above captures $67.73 in food (including sales tax!). That’s a smidge under the $33.98 each my wife and I get this week in our Virtual Food Stamp SNAP Challenge.

The grocery shopping experience of buying $67.73 in groceries for two for an entire week was rather eye-opening. Below are 8 Eye-Opening SNAP Grocery Shopping Observations, a list which assuredly compares in infotainment value as 7 Struggles Every Pale Person Can Understand.

1. Meat, cheese, and dairy are out. They are simply way too expensive, even though 63% of U.S. food subsidies go toward keeping meat & dairy at a fraction of their actual market price. Our only dairy was almond milk, which was $2.50 for a half gallon (vs. $1.63 for a half gallon of whole cow’s milk).
2. Protein will be a struggle. The average male should consume 56g of protein daily; pregnant or lactating woman should consume 71g. At least 10% and no more than 35% of their calories should come from protein. Our main sources of protein are from various types of beans, peanuts, peanut butter, and potatoes.
3. Organic is being cut out. The pressure to buy organic and pay 2x more is a rich person’s problem; it isn’t happening here. While I would love to eat food that is better for the environment, grown with less pesticides, and without hormones are antibiotics, I simply can’t afford it. Also, it would be nice to be able to buy some more leafy greens. The bulk of my produce are potatoes, apples, and spinach.
4. Buying off-brand (Kroger-brand) is required. Branding and advertising is expensive, so it is a luxury I can’t afford. Thinking about it again, I probably should have gone to Walmart instead.
5. Shopping is NOT a pleasure. Grocery shopping took nearly 3x as long, and was frustrating and unpleasant the entire time. I had to compare the $ per ounce signs on every product and count up *each cent*. I had to think out every meal for the week in advance, considering serving sizes and every individual ingredient. It was tiring.
6. Coupons are king. While I didn’t have any coupons, I could see how the existence of a coupon could decide whether or not I could afford a product any given week. A Kroger plus card is required; it saved me nearly 10%.
7. Empty calories are out. I wish I could afford bread, cereals and potato chips! But I can’t afford to waste my limited cents on nutritionally empty calories. That isn’t to say I wasn’t tempted to stress-buy a bucket of cheesy-poofs. They have protein, right?
8. I need to buy in bulk to really save. While I’d love to visit a Costco or SAMS’s Club and really pile on the buy-in-bulk savings, SNAP doesn’t allow me to spend money on such memberships. If I was participating for a full month, I’d focus on buying oils, rice, and dry beans in bulk to squeeze out every cent.

For the extra curious, you can view a line-item list of pricing and quantity of our grocery bill.

A Year of Veganism

Has it really been a year since I started my dietary vegan experiment? What started as an impromptu 21 day experiment has turned into an eye-opening, waist-reducing dietary overhaul. Looking back, the hardest part wasn’t the willpower to avoid certain food but rather the willpower to make time to shop, chop, and cook at home.

Oh, and I wasn’t really vegan. Yeah…about that.

Vegan-ish

Dietary fundamentalists, those that require absolute and strict adherence to the principles of their selected diet (at that time), are the religious zealots of the dietary world. Both vegan and non-vegans alike have their acolytes. Think “Paleo”. So, the fact that I still purchase and wear leather products, consume honey, and enjoy shellfish banishes me from ever holding a V-card. At the same time, because I avoided all other forms of mammalian and aviarian flesh, eggs, and dairy flesh-eaters branded me a dietary freak. I had no home, so my wife and I invented the term “Seagan”.

In fact, on vacation when nearly all meals are from dining out we found it easier to simply adopt a pescatarian diet. It is pretty challenging to find a restaurant that serves dishes or uses all their ingredients without eggs or dairy free. And when being invited over for a home-cooked meal we found it was less intrusive to simply let the host decide what we were going to eat, even if that meant we would have to stomach some digestive pains after.

In all, over the past year and 1,000+ meals I can count on two hands the number of times I have consumed animal flesh. That puts me at a 99% “success” rate. Those meals stand out in my mind not only because of their relative rarity but also because they were deliciously appreciated, albeit sometimes digestively upsetting. How can I forget the Ostrich Medallions from the restaurant Tantra on October 11th, 2012? My digestive tract certainly did not.

Vegan Surprises

Another surprise was the lack of support I received from friends and family. If I had a family member or friend that wanted to change their lifestyle to improve their health, I’d support them without questions. I, however, received constant questions that seemed more focused on trying to trip me up than support my decision, or invitations to dinners where there were absolutely no meat, dairy, or egg-free options. I’m still amazed how often I attended dinners where plates never saw a single plant other than processed wheat. If there was a plant, it was covered in a creamy layer of butter or cheese.

Over time, however, I learned that this wasn’t backlash or lack of support. Rather, most of my friends and family simply didn’t know how to cook or eat meals that were meat, dairy, and egg-free. It simply wasn’t part of their culinary lexicon, as it wasn’t part of mine when I first started. Think about it – how many dishes do you know how to cook that are absolutely free of animal flesh, dairy, or eggs? Do you even think about if your meal has animal flesh, dairy, or eggs in it?

There were indeed some memorable attempts by friends to support my experiment, including by my mother who prepared a vegan, gluten-free Christmas dinner. This meal was even more impressive when one considers that she is an immigrant from a country that holds the record for the highest beef consumption per-capita. Uruguayans probably come in second place for pasta or bread.

The biggest surprise, however, was how much I’ve come to enjoy vegetables. When they are the primary food on my dish, I don’t feel sluggish or tired after a meal. Instead, I feel…refreshed. It is hard to explain, but a plant-based diet simply “feels” good. Not a delicious “pat-my-belly-from-satiation” good, but rather an energized “I’m-not-going-to-regret-this-at-all” good. While this may be the norm for some in how they relate to food, it was an appreciated surprise for me.

Did Veganism Improve My Health?

Yes.

As a reminder, the root of this experiment turned lifestyle change was health-related. I have a challenging relationship with how I process food both genetically (e.g., family history of cardiovascular concerns) and emotionally (i.e., I “stress” eat…and eat). What’s worse, before I started an annual check-up indicated higher than desired cholesterol, blood pressure, and blood glucose levels. It didn’t help that I had already gained back 50% of the hard-won 20 pounds I had lost from an earlier dietary and exercise overhaul in 2011.

Today, my health metrics are top-notch. My cholesterol is in a healthy range, my blood glucose remains steadily below levels of any concern, and having lost 18 pounds I’m at my lightest weight in over 7+ years. What’s more, even when I fall off the horse and exercise less than I should for a few days (and sometimes weeks), my weight remains relatively stable. It is fairly challenging to gain weight from eating too many veggies (although fried potatoes, corn tortilla chips, and milk-free chocolates are another story).

My Dietary Experimentation Continues

Ultimately, the 12 months have been an exploration of my culinary needs, wants, and values. I’m mindful; I’m thinking about everything I consume (healthy) while avoiding becoming obsessive about the “right/wrong” of the action (unhealthy).

I’ve enjoyed the journey.

I have also discovered that this is very much a personal journey, and a journey that can be afforded due to the relative wealth in which I live. Gathering, cooking, and eating a plant-based diet is resource intensive in both time and money. As such, I do not expect this dietary lifestyle from everyone. If a fellow human is scrounging for sustenance, I get it – eat that cow, chicken, whatever. Chances are it wasn’t raised in an industrial fashion, either. But even if it was, I get it. Enjoy.

For me, however, calories are not precious. I have an abundance of food choices at my beck and call. I’m fortunate enough that spending more on unsubsidized plant-based foods won’t break my bank. It’s a luxury that I have; I understand that not all share that luxury.

As such, I will no longer tell people that I’m “vegan”. I’ll still avoid mammalian and avian flesh, eggs, and dairy, but that decision is a personal one that will be exhibited through my actions, not a label. If a friend offers me a meal that conflicts with my dietary preferences, I’ll appreciate their generosity and break bread under their terms. Consuming that particular meal won’t kill me (hopefully). If a friend wants to meet for a meal, I’ll no longer steer them toward a vegan or vegetarian restaurant. I have discovered that there are always wonderfully delicious options for me to consider, especially if that means a snack of only fried potatoes. I could do far worse.

Thank you for reading this blog series on my year-long plant-based dietary experiment and being part of that journey for the past year. While I may still post about some delicious plant-based recipes I discover or mindful reflection on what I’m eating, and why, I’ll no longer push “The Vegan Agenda”.

Bon appetit!

Have You Played Today?

This is how I ran the San Diego Marathon. The entire time.

Recently at my Entrepreneur’s Organization forum meeting, my forum completed an exercise called “What are your values?”.

• Everyone shares in creating a master list of possible values.
• Individuals select their top 10 values that are most important to them.
• Individuals then remove the 3 least important, leaving them with 7.
• Individuals then remove the 3 least important, leaving them with 4.
• Individuals then remove the 2 least important, leaving them with only 2.

We then went around and discussed if these two remaining values, which we declared were our individual most important values, were reflected in each of our lives. Do we make time for them on our calendar? Do we fund them with our money? Would others agree that we uphold and represent these values daily?

My Two Most Important Values

My two most important values, in order of importance: #2. Curiosity; #1 Joyfulness.

Curiosity, to me, is the value of being interested enough in the world around you as to explore, learn, and investigate it.. It is the never-ending questioning of ideas, and open-mindedness to accept that your prior conclusion was incorrect. It is how I try to go out and engage the world everyday.

Joyfulness, to me, is the value of finding the humor, levity, and happiness in all aspects of life. It is the acceptance of, and comfort in, the knowledge that we are so very insignificant; that nothing is to be taken too seriously, not even death (or taxes). It is how I choose to perceive the world and all the things it thrusts upon me.

Today, I realized that these two things that are the core tenets of the concept of play.

In psychology and ethology, play is a range of voluntary, intrinsically motivated activities normally associated with recreational pleasure and enjoyment. Play is most commonly associated with children and their juvenile-level activities, but play can also be a useful adult activity, and occurs among other higher-functioning animals as well.

The concept of play is easy to understand for children; it is even expected. But the only type of play adults seem to be allowed is the perverse type (not that that isn’t enjoyable!). What about humor, games, roughhousing, flirtation and make-believe fantasy?

Research is that animals on the lower strata of their hierarchy of needs — that is stressed and starving animals — generally do not play.

Which brings us to the photo that started this post. Recently I completed my first marathon — the 2013 Rock ‘n’ Roll San Diego Marathon. Even though it was probably one of the most uncomfortable, tiring experiences of my life, I always tried to introduce play into it. Even during my many hours and miles training, I kept my mind focused on finding puns and jokes in the conversations around me. And for the race, to the suggestion of my wife, I was able to uphold my values of Curiosity and Joyfulness in full power as TuTu Much — the sidekick to the Purple Phantom (n.b., my superhero also shares the #2 value of Curiosity).

Have you played today?

Play Inspiration

A pioneer in research on play, Dr. Stuart Brown says humor, games, roughhousing, flirtation and fantasy are more than just fun. Plenty of play in childhood makes for happy, smart adults — and keeping it up can make us smarter at any age.

Stuart Brown’s research shows play is not just joyful and energizing — it’s deeply involved with human development and intelligence. Through the National Institute for Play, he’s working to better understand its significance

I Ran My First Marathon

The Purple Phantom and TuTu Much pose pre-marathon.

When I first started training for my first (and only to date) olympic distance-ish triathlon in 2007 — I remember thinking how absolutely idiotic it was to even consider running a half marathon. This made sense as this triathlon event only required 8km of running, or just a little over 5 miles. The most I had ever run before in a single day was 8 miles, and that was when I was fresh out of college in tip-top shape, or at least my best impersonation of said shape. Running a half-marathon, or 13.1 miles, was quite the stretch.

And then in November 2011 I finished my first half marathon — the inaugural Savannah Half Marathon. Even though it was over a year and a half ago, I vividly remember the pain and discomforts of all sorts (note: do not change your race-day feeding plan on a whim, especially with cytomax). Toward the end of the race, I recall there being a ramp-off for the marathoners to go on with their, in effect, second half-marathon. I thought they were absolute idiots. Sure, I would go on to run in 5 more half-marathons over the next 19 months, but a half-marathon was “manageable”; a marathon? Manic.

And then this past week I finished my first marathon. In other words — I became one of those idiots.

If it helps, I’m far from a hardcore idiot. My embarrassing finish time of 6:29:57 was in the bottom 4% of marathon finishers — 6249 out of 6494 (and that’s rounding up). So yeah, I am one of those idiots, but at least I’m a not a manic idiot. Those are the worst.

Race Day Recap

My wife sent me an article on analyzing my race performance as a learning tool for future races. Apparently she knows me well enough that I’m so unsatisfied with my time that I’m going to try again (in due time; I had 5:30:00 as my goal). So let’s start analyzing. I want to focus on the experience itself — the feelings (pain) and emotions (sadness) that encompassed the event.

The race started early, if one were to define a 4:00 AM wake-up early. We were told by others that this early rise shouldn’t be a problem, as this was the west coast and we were still on east coast time, which would put us at a 7:00 AM wake-up really. These were, sadly, lies. What is important to remember is that the night prior to running a marathon, you will not be able to sleep. Your body knows what you are about to do to it, so it goes all pre-emptive on you.

I was admittedly concerned about the race-day weather. I have had too many lost battles with heat (e.g., passing out in gym locker rooms). While the ideal running temperature for many is 56 or so, I prefer it to be in the upper 40s. San Diego weathermen predicted a cool low 70s, which mathematically speaking is slightly higher than the ideal upper 40s. Ultimately, I was fortunate — low to mid 60s with cloud coverage the entire race. I didn’t even need to wear sunscreen, which I forgot to apply in my 4:00AM morning fog.

At 6:15AM, we were off. By 8:30AM, the first marathoner would cross the finish line. I, however, would take much, much longer. Maybe it was the zydeco dancing my wife and I did around mile 5, or the rave dancing we did in the tunnel complete with colored lights and techno music. Whatever the cause, despite feeling like the first 11 miles just flew by at their on-target 12:30 min/mile pace, by mile 14 my body and mind abruptly gave in — I had to start walking.

Now, bear in mind that I’ve seen far more miles in my training — 18 and 20 — and I didn’t *need* to walk. But on this day — the day I would aim for 26.2 miles — my legs decided to check out after less than 3 hours of running. I would be more accurate to say I shuffled a marathon than ran one.

While the first half of the marathon was all running glee and happiness, the next 3 and half hours were miserable. Ugh, just typing that makes me feel bad — 3 and half hours of walking after running 3 hours.

Granted, it was a fast walk — 16:00 min/mile average. And to be positive, the weather was enjoyable enough, I stayed properly lubed, my Larabars were a godsend in keeping me out of to porto-potties, I partook in some quite delicious salt packs, and drank a lot of refreshingly lukewarm water. I don’t, however, ever want to see a watermelon-flavored sports jelly bean ever again in my life. They are dead to me.

I’m not going to lie — realizing that I only had enough strength in me to walk for the next 12 miles was terrifying. I did the math, I knew what it meant. When I got to the 1.5 mile hill that started on mile 20 my heart sank as did my my pace; it was reduced to 17:52 for that mile.

But on the last mile, the Team in Training mentors all joined me and my wife to finish slaying this marathon beast. My pace picked up to at what the time felt like a sprint, but was later to be revealed as a mere 13:000 min/mile.

I finished a marathon.

After The Race

After the race as friends congratulated each other, I wobbled around drinking 12 ounces of Jambajuice (*awesome*) and snacking on two small bags of Cheetos — it’s the small things, folks. I limbed back a mile to the hotel and enjoyed one of the most pleasurable showers in history. After, a big group of the Team in Training folks walked another mile to Fred’s Mexican Cafe. I enjoyed cheese dip and a carne asado for the first time in, oh, 10 months — it was delicious. Some of us imbibed way too many subpar dirty-water looking margaritas. It made the walk back tolerable, however.

The next day we walked a mile to a brunch at Cafe 21 that, ultimately, took 3 hours. I enjoyed a rosemary lamb sandwich with mozzarella that left me with heartburn for the rest of the day. But it didn’t matter — we were still giddy, basking in the sweet post-run glow of endorphins that flowed through us. That afternoon we walked 2 more miles (enough with the walking already!) to Coronado Beach, where over the roaring waves of fighter jets landing in the nearby military airport, we played Cards Against Humanity. We finished that evening off with an early dinner at Leroy’s Lounge where I consumed more fried food in one day than one should consume in one week. By tequila margarita two, this marathoner was ready to cab it home and call it a night.